Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in number34's LiveJournal:

Sunday, September 26th, 2004
5:38 pm	Charlene Is it wrong to think your boss' girlfriend is hot? I mean, especially when she's dressed in that kimono number with thsoe chopsticks in her hair. I mean, how cool is that? You never know when you're going to run into a Chinese restaurant, so you have chopsticks ready to go whenever. She and the boss got in some big argument when she got back. I don't know what happened. Not that I was, you know, eavesdropping, but I think I heard something about what a big caterpillar Dr. Venture had. And that's the most thinly veiled euthanasia I think I've ever heard. Things don't look good for the boss. Maybe there's a chance for me and Dr. Girlfriend to hook up. There's a fantasy for you: "Yeah, baby, you can keep your chopsticks on." Man, it's hot as hell in here. I need to get some air. Current Mood: hopeful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
2:27 pm	I don't freaking believe this. Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been busy with the boss and also working on HENCH, but that won't be the case anymore because my HENCH idea is online for just about a month and some jackass has already ripped it off. Look at this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/jacksonpublick/ And this: http://www.adultswim.com/shows/venturebros/index.html I mean, c'mon. Venture Brothers? Dare Sisters? That's not even a clever ripoff. And look at this: Can barely tell them apart, can you? I mean, it's so damn obvious: like there would be two really strong, lethal bodyguards with mullets. I can't believe the boss is in there too. But it looks nothing like the boss--his eyebrows are longer in real life. Ah, but The Moth's eyebrows look just like that. I wonder if the boss can sue. Once you're in a cartoon, just about anything can happen. Next thing you knows, someone will write a tell-all book or something. I can't believe this. I should never have sent my HENCH proposal to Cartoon Network. I'm just heartbroken. I'm going to go get drunk now. Current Mood: pissed off (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
1:52 pm	So we're in Malaysia now. The boss is meeting with The Collection Agency. Some kinda Guild business that he was tightlipped about. So get this: The Collection Agency? He's just one guy. And he collects some of the weirdest shit I've ever seen. None of this makes any sense. For example, there's this entire wall, must be eighty feet high, with guys dressed like geishas pinned to it. Each of them have little signs under them saying stuff like, "New York City, Lincoln Center, 1993." He calls it his "M. Butterfly collection." Man, I feel sorry for the boss. He has to hang out with some real weirdos. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
12:32 am	Preview Sketch: Dirk Gilgamesh! Okay, so check this out: here's the original sketch of Dirk back from when I was only eight... And in case I want to pitch it to Vertigo, here's this version: (I made it worksafe for you guys wasting time at the J-O-B) You saw it here first, folks! Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
8:01 am	Jesus, what a crappy way to end a party You know, at first, when we ran into Underbheit's henchmen at the Venture compound last night, we were all like, "Man, what a bunch of dicks." Then while the Boss and the Baron tried to get things straightened out, we all just kind of hung out. And eventually, we got together and started drinking beer. It was...you know, a pretty beautiful moment. Two groups of people, formerly enemies, bound together by fate and making the most of it. It was kinda like that moment in the Civil War, where the Germans and the Union Army found themselves hanging out in no man's land on New Year's. And decided to play soccer. Just like in that Paul McCartney video. We hung out, drank even more beer, and told stories about our lives, our hopes, our dreams. I told everybody about how I was kidnapped at the age of 15 and brought into my career as a henchman. Surprisingly, a lot of people had similar stories. It was all very cool. Until, as usual, The Ventures had to screw everything up by sending a killer robot after us to break up the party. I guess I woulda been pissed too--we did leave a lot of empties out on their lawn. I mean a lot. But pretty much everybody got toasted before they could get away. I'm just sorry I was out on a beer run when the massacre happened. Maybe I could have done something to help save some lives of my buddies. Instead, I had to hitch a ride back to the rendezvous point, sharing my beer not with Klaus, the cool Underbheit dude who could fart Mozart with his left armpit, but with Joe...some guy driving a hay truck. Now I've got hay and shit in my wings, I'm hungover, and I'm the sole survivor of a bloodbath at the hands of a robot. Life just isn't fair sometimes, I tell ya. Current Mood: morose (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
5:27 pm	Okay, so I've got this idea... Just hear me out. I've always been doodling and coming up with new, fresh original ideas for comic books, right? I've been a serious comic book reader since as long as I can remember. But each idea has never felt right before. Never felt like it was truly my own. But now...now I think I'm on to something. I've taken an idea I came up with when I was eight years old, and I've fleshed it out a bit. Now, stories have been told from the villains' point of view before, right? Sure, but how many have been told from the henchman's point of view, hmm? So you've got this guy, a master villain by the name of The Moth. He and his partner, the lovely and winsome Professor Beau, are constantly at odds with The Dare Family: The Dare Sisters, Dr. Dare, their robot assistant C.H.U.M. and the family's bodyguard, the ruthless Dirk Gilgamesh. But the story is told from the perspective of a henchman of The Moth's. And the comic's called HENCH. Oh, and if I pitch it to Vertigo like I'm thinking, I'll add some demons in there somewhere. And I guess I'll have to use the word "fuck" a lot. And since I've got this idea for a story where Professor Beau secretly has a thing for our hero, that could, you know get us some tits in there. Which I hear Vertigo editors really like. What do you think? I don't see why I can't be the next J. Michael Stravinski or Todd Macfadyen, if I do say so myself. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
12:12 am	Geez, that's embarrassing The Cocoon got lost earlier today because #51 spilled his juice box all over the navigational console. So there we are in the control center with the boss refusing to ask for any directions. Dr. Girlfriend finally came up and made him stop and ask. Of course, we were headed to Japan at the time, so we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Finally, we ran across a deep sea fishing trawler, and Dr. Girlfriend made the boss ask them where we were. Once we knew, he didn't want anyone giving away our position so we sank the trawler. Good news for the fish, I guess. I really worry about the two of them. The boss and Dr. Girlfriend, I mean. Not the two fishermen. Current Mood: apathetic (Comment on this)
Friday, August 13th, 2004
3:37 am	Shift's over The last place you want to be is in the boss' throne room. He's just...you know, twitchy. He goes through more employees that way, firing off a dart and wasting people. #24...boy, he was a prick and a half. He sent away for a correspondence class in how to throw your voice, so he'd have his voice coming out of your head to startle the boss and...well, you can imagine what happened. He wasn't so much as run over by Brock the other night as pushed under the approaching fender. But like I said, I was in the john, so don't even look at me. After The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend escaped, they eventually came back for the survivors and we spent some time over at Señor Cabeza's place, which was kind of depressing. He's this little evil tequila worm with the mind of a genius, except he's drunk all of the time. And throwing out these terrible puns about pickling. And then he gets in his little go-cart thingy and runs into chair legs, and demands that you write him DUI tickets on little tiny shreds of paper. Yeesh, what a nightmare. Now the cocoon has moved to Belize while we recruit new henchmen. I say "recruit." More like go from house to house taking teenagers against their will. But more on that later. Sometimes it's a painful topic with me. In the meantime, I'm going to rejoin the guys for pinochle and exploring this Cane Juice Caribbean vodka. 80-proof sugar cane booze. Who knew? Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
12:23 pm	Sweet! I just found that #52 (Brock ran him over with his car the other night) left me his foozeball table! I mean, it's sad and all that he's gone, but dude: foozeball. Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
2:25 am	Where to start... I think I'm here, honestly...because of Speedy. But...let me start at the beginning. We were all down in Mexico with the boss...he and Dr. Girlfriend were working on one of their grand plans, when of course Dr. Venture and his kids had to show up, obviously looking for the boss so they could screw up the boss' plans. But the boss got wise to this, right? He sent Speedy and some of the guys to find out what they were up to. Speedy was a great guy. He was my roommate here in the cocoon. He'd tell me stories about growing up, going to high school, and how he wanted to be the best at everything. Even being a henchman. He wanted his wings and he wanted, you know, to go places. I never went to school and I don't remember much about my teenage years, you know, due to circumstances beyond my control, but it was cool to hear Speedy talk about that stuff and hear what it was like. He had such a zest for life, such a joy de viver, such a drive to succeed. Anyway, Speedy, that guy, stepped up and decided to take the young Ventures into custody. However, in the process, they got off a distress signal and up comes running that asshole throwback of a bodyguard--Brock--and he went to town on Speedy's throat. Luckily #41 hit him with the truck before he could manhandle all the guys, but it was too late for Speedy. They had to...end his pain. So that got me thinking, you know? I mean, Speedy...gone. Don't get me wrong, there's a certain fatal turnover when it comes to being a henchman--that just comes with the job, but still...this one...affected me. Speedy had been a good guy to talk to, and sure he had told me some about himself, but...what were his hopes? Dreams? Fears? What did he leave behind as some kind of epigram for his tombstone? So, you know, life is short. I wanted to make sure that I had a chance to let my voice and thoughts be heard in case I ever take the ride in the big black car, you know? Like the great poet Angie Dickinson wrote once, 'Because I could not stop for death, he kinda stopped for me.' So, you know, it's gonna happen. So here is where I spill my guts. Figuratively, anyway. And in doing so, I remember Speedy. And I remember all the guys that met their fate when Brock drove his car into the cocoon and started going apeshit. If only I hadn't been in the toilet when that all started, maybe...just maybe...I could have been the one little umph that turned the tide. So for Speedy and the guys...I'll never forget you. Especially since, you know, before tonight I was #72. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)